Absence in space. Performance.
I halt at a point around which I built the order of my performance, derived from the symmetry of my body. I realize the necessity of constant destruction and the inevitability of its reconstruction again. This ambiguous process, full of doubts and abandoning, questions the constancy of the solutions I once acknowledged. What is important is that order and chaos, forming the basis for the construction of performances, are not opposite values. They are indispensable in the creation of the dynamic space of a performance or the space for a performance. I clearly feel the reason for the inevitability of the sequence which chaos it. What I have in mind is the mistake as an important factor constructing an event, by no means less important than necessity or relinquishment. Being the maker, I would like to confirm the elementary feature of a performance – the presence of a performer in a concrete space against a concrete observer. I am intrigued by the presence which is realized by its opposition, namely the absence of the expected. Then, its precondition is the strong testimony of absence, the painfulness of absence. This painful lack recalls the opposite notion – presence perceived ambiguously, an unexplained pain.
I cannot find the absolute border line between the performance as a gesture and an object; the performance results from gesture. The object testifies to the performance, it the consequence of one’s victory over the unfeasible.(…) One could remove the weight of importance from the first realization, pushing it more towards the performer and the intimate area of inner decisions made before the public. I publicly reveal consecutive important sequences of my performance.
Objects and their consecutive demonstrations are the natural consequence of the acknowledgement of the essence of the original understood in this way. These objects are sequences beyond the original, they are exposed as long as the space “between” is the field for decisions, instead of being an unexplained, safe communication route. Similar to performance, there are extraordinary realizations elsewhere, which eliminate the sense of repetitions and returns. They decisively are the latest demonstrations, the demonstrations of exhaustion. The return is senseless, I can remember this, because each realization, each demonstration, should change my position and constantly re – establish my current status.